bound by symmetry.

I’m having a very off day at work. For some reason I just don’t know the answer to any question, and they’re all things I should definitely know by this point. I’ve said to at least five patrons “I have no idea” and several others I had to do some creative distracting while I tried to figure out the answer. And by “creative distracting” I of course mean “staring at them with a totally dumb look on my face and saying ‘um’ A LOT.” Embarrassing…

First (1/2) week of classes done. A few thoughts:
A. I remember quite vividly taking note of the seniors/fifth years seniors when I was a freshman and thinking the were old and weird. Now I’m one of them. Horrifying.
B. After writing my senior paper, pretty much no homework sound hard.
C. MCC students are very rude to their professors, which is my biggest pet peeve. It’s not funny. Grow up.

This month is f l y i n g by! My NYR’s are a work in progress, which is the only way they happen in real life. Drinking more water seems to be the most difficult, well aside from waking up early, but that’s no surprise. For some reason I just don’t want to drink water ever. Mostly because it’s gross…just kidding obv…but seriously, diet Pepsi tastes better. As far as waking up early goes, please Lord, provide me a career path that never starts before 11:00am. Other than that, I created a d e l i c i o u s little pasta dish which has encouraged my cooking-rather-than-eating-out resolution. I do love cooking, for realsies. I do NOT love my current kitchen, the fact that all my cooking utensils are in my parents garage, cooking for one person or leftovers of any sort. So you can see my hold-up. All of this is to say that getting healthy is a process, but the more I do, the better I feel.

Healthy Lifestyle 2010 aside, I still feel incomplete. Something is just missing from my life. That spark, that endless love. I’ve searched for years, and found some that I thought would be the one, but inevitably after time, we part ways. Will I ever find you perfect purse, do you even exist? The one that is just the right size, not too small, so that I look like a 13 year old from 1999, but not so big that I can’t find my keys? The one whose straps are long enough and the right width so you’re not constantly falling of my shoulder, but not all up in my armpit bidniz? The one who has the right number of little pockets inside so my chapstick and spare change can have separate compartments. The one my heart desires, that goes with just about anything. I know you’re out there, and I will find you.

Is that an 80 year old man sitting over there watching youtube videos on his iPhone? Why, yes it is! Thank you Lib. Never (although frequently) a dull moment.

Marion Griffin. Glad to meet ya.

According to my “buffer week” belief, today is officially the start of the New Year! I started it off right by waking up late, going to Jill’s for coffee instead of taking time to get ready for work, and consequently being late to work. So “Resolution #1: Waking up early/on time” and “Resolution #3: Being on time to work” may have to wait for another day. However, “Resolution #6: Hang out with Jill” is r i g h t on track. But, you know, when I look back on my college years, I’d rather remember the great times I had with my friends, and not that I was overly worried about getting to bed early so that I can wake up (puke) early to be on time to work.

But I digress, to tell you that one of my all time fav patrons is here. He’s an elderly man who can’t hear a darn thing, but he decided some time last year that he needed to read the classics, which he had never done. I give him kudos for his diligence; he’s read a lot of books since I met him. I decide things like “watch all of Friends in order” or “get a pair of flats in every color.” I am equally as diligent.

So tomorrow I take my first step toward the future (that’s just about the dumbest sounding thing I’ve said yet) and meet with a professor at the graduate school I’m looking at. She’ll probably take one look at me and say “Keep your day job!” Or more likely see that I FAILED yearbook one semester (thank you “best friend Jill”) and point out that I failed a non-class, I probably won’t make it through my Masters. But all that aside, I am excited.

To My Future Husband,
For some unknown reason, I ALWAYS tear up when “I’ll be missing you” by good ol’ P. Diddy comes on the radio. I don’t necessarily miss B.I.G., but that song just gets to me. I also get choked up on the rare occasion “In the living years” by Mike and the Mechanics is on the radio. I’m considering seeking professional help about that one…
Love, Marion.

And finally…Oh, is it cold outside? because I hadn’t picked up on that from all the tweets and facebook statuses. Oh, am I being sarcastic? YES. I call that status abuse. Duh it’s cold outside, we’ve all left our homes, we are aware. And side note, complaining about the cold weather A) isn’t going to change it, and B) makes me want to harm you. It could be a lot worse, for real. It could be summer. Sick.

TheBigMizzle.

Alrighty ol’ Mr. Blog, you and I both know that we’ve seen better days. It’s time to turn over a new leaf: get focused, clean up, work harder, etc. My life may have been a bit aimless last semester, but this semester, nay, THIS YEAR is my year! Things are finally looking up for old Liz Lemon! So as a prologue to this new part of life, I will outline the goals of Blog starting today:

1. To track the many resolutions I have made.
2. To report on my last semester as an undergrad student, facing graduation and then real life.
3.  To impart the wisdom I gain from the Public Library, and what will (God-willing) be my final days. At least in this branch…
4. To be honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So with that, 2010, here I come!

Oh, and thanks for asking! I did have a GREAT New Year’s Eve (or NYE, which I think is stupid) In fact, I’d be willing to say the best one I’ve had yet! All of my best friends (well most) around me, so much dancing, so much laughter, so much joy. Oh, and most embarrassing moment of life following a pretty great start to the new year, but you’ll just have to wait a few years to hear that story. Anyway, I think this pic pretty much sums up the night:

Let’s get down to business. I always call the first week after New Years the “buffer week” because you’re just finally recovering from the holiday horrors but you need some time to get you bearings before tackling all those resolutions. My buffer week has been great, I quit one job, took a little time off from the lib, sat around a lot, etc. Now I’m ready for the New Year to actually start! So what is on the agenda for the next several months?
- Finish school. I have 12 hours, mostly 200 level classes, don’t ask how that happened because I don’t want to talk about it. I haven’t been in class for a semester, so it could be interesting trying to get back in the swing of things, but needless to say I am thrilled to have time to get the crossword done each day.
- Graduation. There is an 85% chance that I will/already have forgotten something very essential to graduating. So, I just really need to make sure that doesn’t happen.
- Prepare for wedding season. Interesting side note, I can think of 23+ couples that I know getting married in the next year. Is that even possible? I didn’t think so. Other interesting side note, I’m single. I think that means I don’t have to get any of those people gifts.
- Find home to live in next year. I suspect easier said than done. Most things are.
- Find a big-girl job, or just any job. In my mind, this won’t be difficult. In real life, well, we’ll see.
- Decide to go, fill out applications for, and get accepted to some sort of counseling graduate program.
- Get discovered and become famous.

I’m excited for this year, and also scared. It really feels like I’m starting fresh, and standing at the threshold of something new. Every new year has that feeling to some extent, but this time it’s for real. It’s the end of my college career, the beginning of a new phase of life. 2009 was definitely not what I predicted, in bad ways and in good ways, so I won’t even try to make predictions for this year. Get ready reader(s), it’s going to be a wild ride!

Okay, yes, sometimes I use a pen to stir my coffee at work. I don’t really see another option.

Obviously besides going to get a spoon.

MPL is a buzz with activity today! There is … that old guy over there, and I think I saw someone go into the computer room. Okay, well clearly the lib is dead today, and I am totally okay with that. Pier One is never dead, which is weird to me since it is a horribly located-overpriced-home décor store. Why are there so many people, and why are they buying so much stuff? We’re open till 6 on Christmas Eve! WHO is making purchases at PIER ONE in the afternoon before Christmas? NO ONE. Not one person needs something that last-minute that they can’t get at Wal-Mart. Oh, you forgot to get expensive Christmas gifts? Too bloody bad. It’s the little things that help me realize how much I love the lib. For example, there is an old lady sleeping in a chair over yonder (uhh) She’s so sweet and innocent looking. I don’t have to ask her if she wants a store credit card, or where she wants her receipt. All I have to do is pretend like I don’t see her sleeping, and direct her to the Large Print books later if need be. Unless she starts snoring loudly, and then all bets are off.

I’m just gonna be real with ya, a weird pair of underwear can really mess up your day. Am I right or a m I r i g h t!

     Speaking of the lib, the holiday season is so strange here. The day or two right before the holidays people come in by the masses frantically trying to find anything to distract them for the next few days as they are off work and are scheduled to spend the holiday with family. They either want popular DVD’s (which have a 100% chance of being checked out already) or an entire series of books, or really, anything with which they can say “Oh, sorry [family member], I can’t do [activity, errand, task] because I’m in the middle of this great [book, movie, magazine]! Our more seasoned patrons are just looking for 13 or 14 books because they’re terrified of being bored for the couple days that we’re closed and they can’t come here and spend the whole day doing nothing. Must be nice. These pre-holiday patrons are a little snippy, they’re in a hurry naturally, and they’re mad because the other 3500 patrons beat them to all the good stuff already.

     The post-holiday patrons, however, are a whole other story, they are just plain mean. They are trying to escape home because they’ve been cooped up and probably forced to smile and be pleasant, and now their well of holiday cheer is run dry. They need somewhere that is free, and that has innocent public service employees who they can be mad at. They have to take out that aggression somehow, and as a counseling major, I totally understand. As a librarian however, I do not understand, and I will not stand for it! Or, really I will, because I don’t have much of a choice.

These two kids just came up and asked me if we had any rap CD’s,  so I started listing the ones that I saw in the catalog. I’ve never felt so uncool and old. Somehow I mis-pronounced Kayne West, which I didn’t even think could happen. I’m hip! I’m in wit it! They just stared at me, and then said they’d just look for them themselves. Ugh.  

And finally – This week in review:
- High: The “personal” day I took. I got stuff done, I relaxed, I smiled, I didn’t answer any questions, and I got paid for it! It was the best mood I’ve been in for a long time.
- Low: All the mold in our kitchen.
- Heart-warming: Staying up till 4 with my roommate and her boy talking about life. I don’t get to do that very often (and in the morning I remembered why) but it’s nice to have a little trip down memory lane from time to time.
- Cade quote of the week: “Are you going to make me go to bed thirsty?”
- Lesson learned: No matter how hard you tell yourself it’s going to be, it’s still harder than you thought.
- Other lesson learned: I’ve become one of those girls who gets a manicure/pedicure when I’m having a bad day. Definitely did not see that coming.
- Want: A white Christmas
- Need: a routine
- Scared of: my sister. If you don’t understand that, you’ve never had a teenaged sister.
- Looking forward to: Christmas! duh! Now, of course I don’t have favorite relatives, but they’re coming for Christmas, and I am so excited! And for once I have great gifts (ahead of time) for everyone, thanks to employee discount at the Pier!
- And everything else: I took more than one nap this week, I bought more clothes for some reason, my roommate (former) is in town and I get to see her, and I’m getting really pumped about the coming New Year!

Loves, Marion.

You know how people always say “Oh, I can’t believe it’s already such and such date! My, how does the time fly” (said in an old lady voice, this is an important part of visualizing the scene) and you say, “yeah, seriously…” Okay, SERIOUSLY, I can’t believe it’s already freaking December 15^th!!!! (the freaking was added to differentiate myself from an old lady, which, sometimes it’s hard to tell, let’s be honest.)

I have learned that times move in a very different way when you’re not in class everyday. I feel like I haven’t really done anything, which makes sense given that all I’ve done is go to work. I used to think that having lots of homework and class stuff made days all blend together, which it does, but those days seemed to have some kind of progression, I was learning, getting to deadlines, accomplishing something. Work blends days together, but in the sense that I’ve been basically doing the same thing everyday and not making any progress. And it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, or if it’s the weekend, because they’re all just workdays. Lesson learned: I don’t want to work. Fact: No one does and I don’t have a choice.

But I do love my job, in the way that I love…literally as I was typing this sentence number 3 on my list of least favorite patrons walked in. I tried to flee the desk but alas, it was too late, he has seen me and I’m sure he’s fixin to come bug me for a while. It will be unpleasant and there is a 98% chance I’ll start crying.

brb.

So yesterday would have been the 23^rd birthday of one of my best friends growing up, who, sadly, didn’t make it to her 21^st birthday. Losing a childhood friend is always weird and hard, but especially when you haven’t quite left childhood yet when it happens. And now, I keep getting older, but Sara is still young in my head, and she’ll stay there, at 20, for the rest of my life. It sort of takes your breath away to think about, and certainly puts things in perspective. Whatever that means.

And that’s what we call a random blog post. Amen.

“….and that’s the way it isss” Oh Celine. Your words never rang so true.

Tuesday the Library was closed for a snow day! My boss called me at 6:50 in the morning to tell me, which was odd as I wasn’t on the schedule until 5:00 but I d i d n ‘ t even care because I was so excited! So in honor of the snow day, or by coincidence and unwillingness to drive, I spent the whole day at my parents house (because I feel asleep there the night before. How does one fall asleep somewhere other than their home? unknown.) At first, it was cool because A. My parents, unlike myself, have food to eat, as well as a remote* and B. I didn’t feel like I had to do things because I was at my parents house, not at my house staring at the pile of crap I have to do in the next week. But then, I reverted back to high school Marion complete with wardrobe (as found at the bottom of the closet in the guest bedroom) and it was truly terrifying. That evening when my mom said “Marion, get off the computer and go to bed or you aren’t going to wake up,” I realized the full breadth of the situation, and reminded myself I wouldn’t want to get up for work, w o r k, as in grown up life, not school in the morning, and maybe it was time to go back to my home.

But still, I love being home now more than I ever did when I lived there. Go figure. Oh wait, it may be, or is directly because I also love free things.

*We don’t have a remote. I hope you were able to deduct that from the statement, but if not, that’s really all there is too it.

There are two things that I love more than life itself this week: Gap and Glee. Great to see I’ve got my priorities straight, right? Gap because they had a buy one get one free sweater sale, and I am a SUCKER for sweaters and sales (I mean, I don’t care what it is, if I get a good deal, I’m taking it home!) Oi, give me a boy all dressed in Gap and I’ll take him home too. Hahaha. Jk. But seriously. Anyway, GLEE. OMG. I have no one to talk to about the season finale and I am FLIPPING! It was fantastic, cliff hangers a l l over the place, songs, dancing, love drama! It’s more than I can handle! Which leads me to my next thought:

To My Future Husband,
I really love TV. Like, a lot. But let me be more specific, I mean, you are (I hope) the love of my life, you should know with whom you share the spotlight. I love well written comedies, and a few not well written comedies, but I don’t really like dramatic shows, and I HATE medical/investigative shows. Obviously except Law and Order, I am American afterall. I would much rather purchase a TV show on DVD than a movie any day, and I could spend a whole day just watching a show, including the commentaries. Which, I realize makes me such a dork. But you’ll forget about how dorky that is when you realize how emotionally attached to TV show characters I get, and how strange that is. Ok. Please still marry me.
Love, Marion

On a sad note, my puppy is sick. Well, she’s a dog, she was a puppy 10 years ago. But last night when I was home she wouldn’t come up the stairs no matter how much we coaxed her. She just stood there looking so sad. She has arthritis pretty bad, and has a hard time getting up and down, but this was the first time she just wouldn’t go up the stairs. I, being the mature 22 year old that I am, stood there sobbing while my parents tried to help her. But we’ve been through a lot together, Molly and I. I picked her out from all the puppies we looked at, not knowing that she would grow into a monster. And after a couple years when my parents tried to find her a new home because she was too aggressive, I fought to keep her. Let’s be honest, I love her more than I love most people.
She may be a bitch, but she’s always a lady to me.

-Mar

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to put someone else before yourself, and how complicated that gets. It seems like it should be clear-cut, but what are the boundaries, and how exactly do you do it? And when is appropriate, or not appropriate. There is always a grey area. All I’m trying to say is would someone please bring me some starbucks? I’m at work, and I’m sleepy. Put me before you.

Seriously though, the utter horror of the last two weeks in my life has crossed the “this is a bad week” line, flew past the “worst ever week” line, and has settled nicely in “well this is just comical.”  I can’t even be upset about it, because everything is just so ridiculously bad that it’s funny. Too funny. Alas, there have been some great moments as well, but even those great moments found themselves in the “well how the heck did this happen” category. But I’ll still take them.

There is a 98% chance that I am having a mini-stroke at this very moment. According to some diagnostic research I did at the mayo clinic (’s website), I am presenting several of the symptoms indicative of a transient ischemic attack. There is a 2% chance that I stayed up too late last night talking to Sarah and watching TV, and then consumed only diet pepsi most of the day, and so those symptoms are just me being tired and having poor eating habits. But…I’m puhretty sure it’s a stroke.

Speaking of TV, I finally finished watching Seinfeld all the way through. I’ve seen it all before (lazy parents, raised by television) but I like to watch from beginning to end. Which of course is very bittersweet. I love the accomplishment that comes with finishing something (priorities? Oh hi, this is Marion, I’ve got the wrong number) But I, being of sound mind, have the habit of getting quite emotionally attached to TV characters, and always feel a little sad when it’s over. Anyway, I forgot how stinking hilarious that show is. I’d like to think I can identify with Elaine the most, however sadly, I suspect I’m the George of my friends. But maybe the fact that I can recognize that is a good sign? Probably not. I think I’ll watch Mad About You next. I’m just really in the mood for early nineties comedy.

To My Future Husband,
I hope you’re okay with listening to Christmas music for 4 months of the year.
Love, Marion.

Number of dropped pens/pencils this week: 19 (obviously stressed induced)
Number of patrons describing a book cover so I can find it: 2, for real.
Number of hawks Bar and I saw in one day: 12
Number of minutes (total) that I was late to various jobs: 33

Oh, homeless lady who doesn’t wear shoes. Please leave the lib, I’m tired of dealing with you. And take those sun-glasses off. You aren’t MJ.